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The OuchKit

The Cards

There are six kinds of cards in your kit: Ouch, Sorry, Thanks, You're Welcome, I've Been Wondering, and Now That You Mention it. The cards were designed to work together. One card suggests another. For example, if you give someone an Ouch card, chances are you'll receive a Sorry card in response.

Experience the cards yourself by sending OuchKit e-cards to your friends.

You can exchange as few or as many cards as you want, in any order that works for you. Just make sure you don't avoid cards you don't like. The one you start out thinking is dumb or unnecessary, often turns out to be the very card you need practice giving.

Typical ways that people with relationships exchange the Ouchkit cards

Keep exchanging cards until you're both feeling better.

Getting Started

For the first few days, start by only exchanging Thanks and You're Welcome cards. Most couples are amazed at how fast their relationship starts to feel better once they start showing appreciation for each other. And feel free to include your kids in the process. Some of the most amazing cards I've seen were written by kids.

Don't avoid the Ouch and Sorry cards. They're the backbone of The OuchKit.

After you've laid down a foundation of good will, try adding I've Been Wondering and Now That You Mention It cards. I've Been Wondering is great for testing the waters when you're not sure what's going on with your partner, and you're afraid to ask directly.

Once you're comfortable with the first four cards, add Ouch and Sorry. Neither one is easy to give or receive, but don't avoid them. Learning to express hurt feelings respectfully and apologize wholeheartedly is critical to building intimacy and trust in a relationship.